There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize