is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
