dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Houston, we have a squirter
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
