my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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