i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's always time for handjobs
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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