Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
