I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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