God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
