I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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