There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
