moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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