you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
