woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
