I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
