So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
3pm strippers are depressing
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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