Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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