Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
