Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize