can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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