why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
