But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
