is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
