Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
