sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize