i just had sex bonerless
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
