At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
