Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
