nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
