She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
