Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
