He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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