Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
