did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
