he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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