I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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