I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
