but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you mean i was at the winter classic?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize