It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
