You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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