Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
