K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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