..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Im part way to drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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