we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize