My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize