I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Your dad touched me again.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
