never play flip cup with pint glasses
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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