Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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