VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
