even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
