Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
