i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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