You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
