Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
