I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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