So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i think my cat just said my name.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
