All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
