I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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