Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
