i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
