It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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