he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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