She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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