I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Too much gin, very little bucket
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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