she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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