Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
