How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
