you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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