Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
