your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
