the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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