you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
