So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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