cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
