We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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